Thursday, August 2, 2012

This Is Ridiculous, or Welcome To The Reign of M, The Six Year Old Stylist, by Allison

So in case you are wondering who has recently become Queen of the Universe (Note: no, it is not me, although I have tried that like a majillion times, it has not worked yet, am still trying though and welcome any suggestions), that would be my daughter M, the six year old stylist.

She has been having a week home with me, her sisters E and V are away at summer camp, and for a minute I was worried she would not have fun this week and be sad and miss them. That she would be bored being dragged to gym and Starbucks and several Girl Scout planning meetings and all the other very exciting things I do.


I forget who I am dealing with, M the six year old stylist is force of nature.

She commandeered V's new tween bedroom, has total fun at the gym organizing all of the other kids into her choice of game or fort building or whatever else she wants to do (and every time I go pick her up all the kids shout out "Bye, M! We'll miss you!" ), lots of car dancing going on and ALL her favorite songs are magically appearing whenever we are in car (Note: this may be in part due to the fact that she likes the same music I like and I am playing stations I like in the car, but the specific most favoritest songs keep popping up, which is totally M's voodoo magic)

Plus, she has suggested and succeeded in conducting activities involving shopping and selecting new dresses for both of us (she is stylist, after all, and dress shop people were amused and then shocked at her skill level and how seriously she takes her job of six year old stylist), dressing us up and getting Matt to take us out for fancy dinner (she made him dress up too), smoothie acquisition, and a whole lot of applying makeup on me and fixing my hair in various ways.
(Photo of M's activities, invitations, and recent acquisitions during her Best Week Ever)

And I realize those activities just make her the Queen of Us, but she has Universe doing her bidding as well. This is what came in the mail for us.

 Me: bills, dentist appointment reminder card, Costco Connections magazine (Ug, hate that stupid thing, always reminds me I should go to Costco more but I hate Costco because it is crowded and it is very hard to fit Matt's dumb big cases of Pelligrino in the bottom of the cart without the cart scooching away from me repeatedly, resulting in tantrum by me, lines are long, and cart is always crazy full due to the fact that I hate Costco runs so I put them off until we are out of everything. I realize I am making it worse by putting it off, but I cannot summon enthusiasm for Costco run unless am forced to, I hate it, and the long line is always right by the jelly bean hander-outer, which is NOT helpful when the girls are with me and get sugar high and go crazy).

That was my mail.

This was M the six year old stylist's mail:

Coupon for 40 percent off at Horrid Girl's Clothing Store of Tacky Tight Stuff, invitation to a birthday party for one of her darling friends, a postcard from one of my childhood friends' son, writing about all the fun they had at the beach last week and it was adorable, and a letter from E at camp, reading "I miss you DEARLY (Note: Dearly? That is charming if rarely-used term, E is clearly feeling old-fashioned letter writing makes her a 19th century person writing to their beloved who is off fighting in a war, uphill, in the snow) and I LOVE YOU (with smiley faces)." BOGUS.

That is just bogus. BOGUS.  I have sucky mail, and she gets like, Best Mail Day Ever for a six year old. Harrumpfh.

And, wait, not done! Two minutes later, I get a text from her swim team best friend's mom, inviting her for sleepover and to go to Build a Bear.
M is about off her rocker with glee, and I am thinking, This is ridiculous! Embarrassment of riches! Would not have bought her those dresses so early on in the week if I'd known she could summon all the fun things she loves at will!
Sleepover and Build a Bear? M is actually hovering off the ground with joy at this point.

And wait, wait! Then she gets invitation to go to the pool in the afternoon.
So now I am getting suspicious, like, I realize she has magic powers, that is a given, she is M the six year old stylist, total superpower, but how is she doing this? And can I either learn how to do it too, or get her to add "Diamonds for Mommy" to the list of things that are wonderfully happening for her? 

Lesson for Today:

1. If you find yourself somehow buying presents for, giving makeup to, or inviting M the six year old stylist for awesome playdate, it is because M is now Queen of the Universe. Don't worry though, she is total fun and you will enjoy giving her stuff or having her over, and totally let her do your makeup, she is good.

2. If you can't reach me on phone, email, in person, whatever, it is because I am conducting exhaustive study of M the six year old stylist to pick up some tips myself so I can acquire above mentioned magic powers.

3. If I get those powers first thing I will do will be getting other people to do my Costco run, so I apologize if it winds up being you. Because it will certainly not be me, nor will it be M the six year old stylist.