under twinkly lights,
surrounded by friends and awesomeness last night.
Like, just one of those transcendent nights -
where all is well and life is good . . .
I guess cheesy stuff you'd put on a T shirt?
Except I would not wear that T shirt.
Because I have T shirt laws and they are:
Band T shirts, only.
But in the circle never ends wisdom thing?
Or Rolling Stones wisdom of you can't always get what you want,
but you get what you need?
Or, sometimes good things happen when you harass people at the gym,
and try to buy their ratty old T shirts in boot camp class?
(I realize that is not an actual thing, in general.
In my life, it is a totally true and valid truism.)
Years Of Absurd Over-Sharing And Chatter About Music,
What I Think And Why Pays Off!, by Allison
Ok, so I have always been self-proclaimed, very dedicated PR and Promotions person for any bands or music that I like.
(I had a clipboard in middle school, full of Duran Duran facts.
There are witnesses, who are still my friends -
AND are Duran Duran fans to this day, so there! I am right.
I am always right, really.)
That is nothing new.
But a few years ago, for some reason,
probably insanity or sleep deprivation or brainwashing mind tricks?
I left the civilized Pilates studio at my gym,
which had very challenging Pilates classes I loved,
plus you didn't have to wear sneakers -
(Note: I hate sneakers.
I am reluctant and recalcitrant in wearing them.
Which is sad, considering daily,
I wear them more than any of my delightful army of excellent shoes.
Sigh. I digress.)
And I entered the Thunderdome.
I didn't realize what I was doing,
or I would have run the other way,
as fast as I could in my newly acquired ugly stupid gym shoes.
I had heard this "360" class was fun and cool and I should try it.
I was tricked.
The name isn't scary, right?
Like, It's not INSANITY 90 TIMES XX HELL ON EARTH, or such.
I know to avoid those.
360 seemed kind of introspective and aspirational.
I am an idiot.
I go in, and am told by Very Serious Trainer to tether myself to the railing.
I am honestly baffled, because nothing he said made any sense to me at all.
He tried again, with "Tether yourself to the railing, for suicide sprints and bear crawls."
That sounded REALLY unfun.
That is why I didn't want stupid gym shoes.
Can I go back to Pilates, please?
I am somehow tethered to a railing and everything else is a blur, except I lived.
And, I felt kind of like a badass when I was able to walk(ish) out of that room,
having done things I had never heard of or would agree to do,
Plus, there must have been brainwashing that I didn't realize,
because I was still trying to process why I was hitting a tire with a stick.
I went back!
And eventually, was shocked I could do some of this crazy stuff.
But, the reason I do stuff at the gym and not at home?
I am inherently lazy and will find something, anything, to do other than exercise.
That is why books and music exist.
Group exercise is helpful,
because I am amongst other people suffering,
also wearing stupid gym shoes,
and I am not allowed to pull out my Kindle and hide in the corner.
One of the drawbacks, however,
to the benignly named, totally awful 360 classes is this:
You can't catch your breath,
and Very Serious Trainer does not care if you tell him you are sweating from your eyeballs.
So, though I was now in a group of people willingly being tormented,
there wasn't any time for conversation.
You just want to leave,
limp or whatever - get out of there.
One is the loneliest number,
Ask any elevator Musak.
And so I couldn't continue with this "no talking or making friends or I have a funny story" thing for long -
As with most things in life,
I was saved by music.
Or more specifically,
a dude who came to class in an old, ratty, iron on Black Keys T shirt.
One of the first ones.
Iron on old band T!
Band I love!
I summoned enough oxygen to completely freak out this poor dude,
by trying to bribe or beg or buy his disgusting T shirt,
as the real, old iron on Akron Ohio T's are like unicorns.
Lesson of the Day:
It's Totally Ok To Freak Out A Dude At The Gym By Trying To Buy His Old Black Keys T Shirt, Because You Might Meet Awesome Friend And Have Fun Forevermore.
(Also, Dude You Freaked Out Will Most Likely Never Come Back To Your Gym So No Awkward Social Situations!)