Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Seriously? You are putting that on a list? What is this list? What is going on, Or, My Wily Girls Using Advanced Psychological Tools To Procure Fruits and Vegetables, by Allison

So I am a known List Avoider, mostly because I am likely to lose the list, or still forget something on the list even if I am looking at it, which is like, double negative bad. My brain is my list, so be it, sometimes it works, sometimes oops on the olive oil or whatnot.

But the girls, in their attempt to creatively engage me in wacko what in the world? lists so that I am entertained by the silly and therefore will remember the item they want (Note: brilliant, brilliant strategy, impressive for kids to come up with that, but they do have to deal with me, so maybe it is a necessary tool. Whatever its genesis, the result is, I laugh and laugh.)

New dry erase board and markers provided by me (am not ogre, just list hater, but get that that is my weird phobia and lists work for most of the known world) result in ridiculousness immediately.

E, who has ten lists going at one time already on her bulletin board (purchased by me so she is not list-deprived child regardless of her mother's deal with the hating of lists) adds Neosporin, for her earring removal and all since she just got her ears pierced for her birthday.
Which had about as many steps and plans and discussions as the Geneva Convention.
The thing I was trying to tell her is, we have like six unopened things of Neosporin because it is one of the random things I overbuy because I can't remember if we have enough, and when you need it, you need it, NOW.
Also, she can't change her earrings for six weeks, and I do not want nonsense written on that board that is for six weeks from now and we are all set on the item anyway and this is why I hate lists.

She also wants Saltines, and draws a picture of one, in case I forgot how to read.
And weather proof gloves, which is not happening since we have four billion pairs of gloves I order every year and we could outfit a school in gloves, she just wants different ones.
This again, is why I hate lists.
That is an item I'm not getting, it doesn't mean you get it when you write it down.

But yay!

M the seven year old stylist gets her turn at list board that I am going to ignore, and asks all sweetly "How do you spell zucchini?

 And I think, ha HA, Perfect Super Mommy Parenting Love Magazine! She wants zucchini. I get credit for a vegetable request, right? So tell her how to spell it.

And as I am walking out of the room, she says, "How do you spell "seriously" ?"

And I am all, "Why do you need to write the word seriously on the list thing? That is not on an aisle at the grocery. What are you doing?"

And get this: She is editorializing the list!


E is drawing pictures in case I am unable to read for some reason, and M the seven year old stylist is writing commentary?
That is awesome, totally not a list, and I will totally acquire those items for the girls based on their shrewd method of, make the list weird, Mommy will like that.

Honestly, who uses the word "seriously" on a grocery list?


M the seven year old stylist, that's who. She wants blueberries, seriously!

Oh, how I love that. Love the emphasis, the drama, the use of a "I am making a point here" word. Delightful.

I am beyond entertained by this nonsense. I am happy that the girls know to come at me with the absurd, I go for that, they realize that faced with a typed out long list I duck head in sand.
However,  insane drawings of things and editorializing I admire and remember, as reward for creative and hysterical listmaking.

And I am pretty sure that very few people have had to spell out "seriously" as emphasis for their first grader as she writes her grocery requests. I am in for some good word usages, I can just tell.

Whee! Best Ridiculous, Editorialized Silly List with Illustration, Including things I am totally not getting, ever!!!