Sunday, June 24, 2012

Why I Hate Lists, a Rant: by Allison

So recently I spent approximately one billion dollars at Target getting ready for a camping trip, due to absolute list terror.
This in no way is meant to insult the list makers of this list or any list ever, I realize I am in the extremely small minority on this.
It may be just me.

I'm cool with that, as I HATE lists.

They are so unyielding, and permanent, and no room for discussion.
I love discussion!
What if I want to substitute my thing for the list thing?
Do I have to bring both?
Can I branch off?

There is no chatting in lists.

 Also why I hate multiple choice tests, I have much more to say than a, b, c, or d.
Give me space for an essay!

On lists, though, I am tormented in that even if I carry a dreaded list, I will totally forget something on it, probably subconsciously fighting against the Man.
The List Man.

When I forget bread at the store and someone says, did you bring a list, my head goes on fire.

I hate lists.
They don't work, they are bossy, and are not flexible at all.

I realize I might be describing myself there, but opposites attract. 

The only lists I like are a pile of book reviews I pull out of magazines to order on my Kindle, or new beauty or makeup products I read about. But that is because they are NEW.
And unknown to me. 

I know bread.
I do not want to write it on a list.
I will get it whether it is on the list or not, because I know we need it.
It is in my head!

Which is full of ridiculousness and I am aware of that, but it also contains the basic needs of my household and whatever else, and if I write down "get stuff for Class Party" my head will explode.

I think I secretly like to be proud of myself for remembering, sans list.

But don't tell anyone that.

Also why I hate recipes.
Why so rigid?
Can't we talk?
No, you must use bla bla. 

I reject that, because I guess I am an ornery mule type person.

But I totally get that the rest of the world does indeed enjoy lists, uses lists, benefits from them, etc.

In the abstract, I can kind of get it, but in reality, an actual list that I print off the computer or write down gives me hives.

Born Free! As Free As the Wind Blows!

Throw away your list, go wild at the store, get what you want, it is very freeing and fun.