Friday, September 14, 2012

Dear Weather, STOP with the Hot and Sunny. Am Grumpy. Want Rain. Please Cooperate, Am Asking Nicely, a Plea, by Allison

Ok, weather. We need to talk.
STOP with the hot and the sunny.

Is boring.

Is tedious.

Is not inventive, like, at ALL.

Poor showing for you. Also, it makes horrible boot camp class worse when I have to do yuk stuff in the hot and the sun, that is just not working for me anymore.

I am sure, Weather, that you have stuff to do and so the monotonous Hot and Sunny is easy and you don't really have to put much effort into it, and maybe you are procrastinating. I get that.

 I do that, too. Right now, actually, am totally avoiding other stuff to rant to Weather about Weather's Very Bad and Boring Choices.  I am not judging.

Wait, that is totally not true.
Am very much judging, am actually holding a Court of Law Judge Allison Now In Session, and it is not a jury trial, I am sole decider, and I find you guilty of Boring Stupid Hot Sunny Weather Stop It.

I would very much like to wear my fall wardrobe.
I am NICER when it is not hot and sunny.
If you have to push pause on your TiVo during a good part in The Bachelorette (See, I am going to disparage you and your television choices until you play along here, Weather), just make it rain at least.

Gloomy rain, please.
I am rereading Pride and Prejudice right now and I want some mist.

As inspiration, I am going to offer up a most lovely song, Fleet Foxes' White Winter Hymnal. Am sure you totally know this band, since they are from Seattle and you, Weather, totally know what you are doing in Seattle, you have it down pat, gold star for you on that. 

And this song is melodic and lovely and gorgeous and I DARE you to listen to it and not get motivated to stop with the Hot and the Sunny.

And as I am nothing if not thorough when harassing Weather or people or electronics who are not playing nicely, I am including this song, which remember, is called WHITE WINTER HYMNAL, both the video and the band playing it live in Glastonbury a few years ago, because also if you are needing inspiration, throw England in there too.

 (But not the summer England  hot time when Glastonbury Festival happens, other times of the year Glastonbury involving rain and mist and things being sweatery and such, plus also King Arthur lived there and I am pretty sure he was not suffering from Totally Being Bored With Hot and Sunny during Camelot, reference this: )

Think mist, Weather. Rain. Rain, please. I would like to order rain. And I am not trying to get you, Weather, to skip Autumn, in fact, that would put you on My Permanent Bad List as Autumn is the best, I say so so it is, but am throwing White Winter at you to get the ball rolling, to combat the Hot and Sunny.

So listen to lovely folk band from excellently weathered Seattle sing gorgeously about things that are NOT HOT AND SUNNY.
xxoo, Allison

Lovely White Winter Hymnal by Fleet Foxes, video:

and then live in Glastonbury four years ago: